Missing Perspective

" All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. " Galileo Galilei
When I think of criticism I think of it as unknown truth you have yet discover or accept of yourself. We feel that we are general aware of character flaws and our better points but we are only experiencing our own outward perception. Sometimes we need someone else to point out what we are not seeing. When you receiving criticism you can either deny it’s truth or be open to an unknown factor you were unaware of and try to reach a better understanding of yourself.
When I am criticized I feel uncomfortable. I not one of those people who feels comfortable in confrontations and I feel a wave of relief when its over. The last criticism I gave was to a friend of mine regarding a situation she had asked me advice on . I feel to when I going to criticizing
someone I try to be as constructive and gentle. I think this makes the listener more open and at ease with the criticism you are giving. It never easy to feel like someone is judging you and telling you that you might need to better yourself. We want the person we are criticizing to feel we are only trying to help them.
We each have different listening styles and my listening styles is people oriented. I try to find a common interest and move from there to different topics of conversation. I try to understand the person’s perspective, even when I might not always agree with it . This helps you to be open to different perspectives and a better understanding of the person you are communicating with.
. Our different listening styles can also be linked to our personality types. I think how we listen to others also determines how we want others to hear us.
I think that there are some listening misbehavior that limit and constrict our of communication. These misbehavior are Pseudo listening , monopolizing and selective listening . Pseudo listening is when we pretend to be listening and monopolizing take the focus off the speaker and redirect conversation to themselves. When you are selective listening you only focus on parts of the message. ( Interpersonal pg 140-141) This is something we have all done once or twice, if we realize it or not we lose the message trying to be conveyed. This goes to the how are you going to communicate on a higher level if you refuse to listen to what is being said.
Good listening skills is an important skill to have when working in your future career and when you are in college. This can be linked with the LMX theory , which explains the process of relationships development between superiors and subordinates. (Interpersonal pg 317)
I will use my experience of working in a daycare this summer, as an example.. The atmosphere
of the school was that the employees shared responsibilities and they worked together to help each when things became overwhelming. This can be connected to the LMX theory on how peers in the workplace are usually a support system for each other. It also examines the relationship between superior and subordinates. In using the example of working at the nursery school during the summer , the relationship with my boss was one of dysfunctional superior subordinate relationship. She didn’t give constructive criticism , it was more of her lashing out. Though I tried to establish open communication to better the situation, nothing prevailed.. This made me not want go to work in the morning and created a hostile work environment.
This type of work environment leads us back to Maslow Hierarchy of needs and how this effects what role our jobs full in our lives. What we do as job effects the way we view ourselves and it gives us a source of fulfilment.. What job we have takes up large parts of our life because we are invested in our job it effects our lives. When you have a bad day at work you come home grouchy and when you job is not fulling , you feel restless. A job can be an extension of yourself and when it lacks something we need , we go looking for something else. We want our jobs to give us self actualization and feeling of achievement. We want it to help us define who we are.

The Tell Tale signs of Truth

" The virtue of all achievement is victory over oneself. Those who know this victory can never know defeat." by A.J. Croin

The challenges we face strengthens our character, teaches us to test our limits and to grow as an individual. This statement is true to almost everyone but for someone with a disability overcoming onself is one of the biggest challenge you will face. I know this type of struggle and victory, for I have a learning disability. When I read the article "Two Worlds Collide" I could relate to some of Jody’s emotions she felt like the frustration . I know that I become very frustrated when I have trouble understanding certain material I’m learning in a class. An example is when I’m in math class and everyone around me understands how to do a problem and I do not. There something about being different and knowing that there is line drawn between you and everyone else. I know throughout my education I struggled to be on the same level as my peers and overcome all the challenges I have faced and continue to face . I think when you have any kind of disabilities you know that there going to be trials and tribulations ahead of you and you might face discrimination along the way.
In article in the New York Times " Learning Disabilities goes to College" , discussed how a women comes to work at Connecticut College in New London in the writing center. She is asked if she can work with students with learning disabilities. Her answer is ‘"But the woman said, ''that's a very good school.'' 'They're very good students,'' replied Mrs. Ammirati, who runs the Writing Center and coordinates the college's services for disabled students." The article demonstrates how learning disabilities are misperceive and what it t means to have a learning disability and how this effects students going to universities ."Stan F. Shaw, director of UConn's Learning Disability College Unit. said 1.2 percent of the nation's college freshmen now identify themselves are having learning disabilities. ''That means that there are more of them out there,'' .
(http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?c=health&res=9C0CE5D61530F935A35756C0A966958260&scp=1&sq=People%20with%20learning%20disabilities%20going%20to%20college&st=cse)
When you view someone different from you , try to put yourself in their place and try understand what is like to be them. This can be linked to Uncertainty Reduction Theory ,
how human communication is used to gain knowledge and create understanding by reducing uncertainty." ( pg 65 Interpersonal Communication) I know from experience that sometimes people are not always understanding of those differences. I think anyone with any type of disability might feel the same way. I have had good and bad experiences when telling teachers about my learning disability. I want to judge on my own merit not what makes me different. When someone lacks a level of understanding it makes communication harder because it creates level of frustration ,. when this occurs a student can use assertive communication to voice their needs or defend their rights. ( pg 343 Interpersonal Communication)
There are many variations of communication and we do this when communicating with different people in our life. We can be very direct and open when we are talking to a someone we are close to. When we are communicating with someone we are on formal level the way we communicate is different than on an informal level. An example of informal communication is a telephone conversation with one of your friends. An example of a formal communication is talking to your boss. (Pg 69 Interpersonal Communication)
The topic you discuss with certain people have to do with how comfortable you are discussing that topic and who are you comfortable discussing it with. I talk about anything and everything with my family and friend This can describe my as my inner self a part of ourselves that we keep more private. ( pg 26 Interpersonal Communication) We discuss, politics, religion, gay marriage, abortion , immigration , health care and current events. I’m less forthcoming with stating my opinion with people I don’t know. I can discuss different topics that I have opinion, but I am less comfortable. This can be describe as my public self, the self I project during social interaction. (Pg 26 Interpersonal Communication) I think it’s hard for you to talk to someone about controversial l issues with some who is your elder. I wouldn’t discuss certain topics with my grandfather, because he might feel that it is inappropriate to discuss these things with me.
I asked my friend Jen , whom I have known since infancy about my verbal and non verbal communication. She told me when I’m nervous I touch my hair. I pull it back or I run my hands through it. When I’m upset I lower the volume of my voice. I don’t use direct eye contact. When I’m angry I ‘m blunt about being angry , I usually cross my arms. When I am talking about a topic I’m passionate about I can be loud and argumentative . I know that every time I talk with my mom about politics we end up yelling at one another. It’s probably because we simply don’t agree with the others political opinions . I become anxious usually when I go on job interviews and when I’m seeing a new doctor. I try to take a few deep breaths and keep myself at an outward calm. I think we are
all poker players and we are using our skill in observation to look beyond the surface to find the truth.