Siddhartha learned a great deal from the Samanas; he learned many ways of losing the Self. He traveled along the path of self-denial through pain, through voluntary suffering and conquering of pain, through hunger, thirst and fatigue. He traveled the way of self-denial through meditation, through the emptying of the mind through all images. Along these and other paths did he learn to travel. He lost his Self a thousand times and for days on end he dwelt in non-being. But although the paths took him away from Self, in the end they always led back to it. (Siddahartha, Herman, Heese)
I believe that we are continuously losing and rediscovering ourselves, that our life experiences change us in various ways. In many stages of life we are different people, we think , feel and act different through those stages of our life. This a step of knowing who we are. I know that though the years I have changed and grew as a person, the career I thought I wanted ve changed because of this trip I and since then I have continued to travel down that road. Two years ago I was at Rider and I found this flyer advertising about a trip abroad to Jamaica for class credits. I though wow it be cool to see somewhere outside the US and it sounded fun. The trip was life changing for me, I didn’t know it when I signed up. I went with a group of girls group that II never met and It was my first time away from home. So I was more than nervous. What really shocked me the most about Jamaica was the level of poverty. Some of the house were made from scrap metal, there was no hot water no way to wash your clothes, the schools didn’t have books to give the children or supplies, such paper or pencils. When we helped the children at the orphanage do there homework , they could not do half of the worked assigned because they did have the right books to look up the answers. There were only few children that were in 12th grade and were going to finish highschool. The two English teachers that I was put with , let me take over their English classes. When stood up in front of classroom the first time , I was never more scared than I that have ever been in my whole life. I t was one of those moments where I had to challenge myself to get over this fear. One of the many things I learned from this trip was how to continuously challenge myself. After it was all over I really liked thought of helping people , especially children and I decided that I wanted to work in social services and help better children lives. I did internship in the Head Start in Red Bank NJ and this summer I worked in a nursery school. I started on one road that led me to a completely different place from where I started.
In defining who I am, there are many different labels to describe me and one would be I’m a small town girl. I n using Mead’s theory of perception , My I-its are different because I live in a small town. If I walk in to a restaurant when I am home , it’s a common occurrence that the waitress might be a girl I went to highschool with. Then two tables over there might someone who I know through my parents and we have a pleasant exchange of hi, how are you . Another example of this is my last summer job, I worked at a local daycare and a few children that went to that day care , I went to highschool with their parents. The parent of the children I was taking care of would of been labeled I - its were not on that level anymore.
I had a lot of local jobs in town I lived in and I was a cashier in a convenient store and I was an I-it for a lot of the customers, while others customers I knew on basic level. This was because of how the small town I live in. My I- you are my family and the friends I grew up with. My sister is and I - you for me because we are close. The people that I am close to also have effected who I am today, because the people you surround your self with help you grow as a person. There are many different elements of who I’m now that has to with the life experiences ,I have had and the people I’m close to and the people I have met over time. I think even now I have not finished my road to self discover, for my future is indefinite and I don’t know what lies ahead.
